This two-week plan turns social emotional learning activities for families into one manageable home-school routine. You will choose an observable skill, agree on a shared cue, practise it during an ordinary recurring situation and adjust it with the child.
The plan supports everyday learning rather than clinical assessment or treatment. You can adapt its words, choices and communication methods to the child’s age, culture, disability and preferences.
Contents
What is social emotional learning for families and schools?
For this plan, social emotional learning (SEL) means helping a child practise a usable skill for feelings, choices, relationships or everyday demands. Families and educators support the skill in their respective settings and share only the information needed to improve the plan.
A chapter about family-school-community partnerships describes SEL as relational and shaped by children’s interactions across homes, schools and communities. A Future of Children review says young children can have difficulty learning when they begin school without sufficient SEL skills. It also reports early childhood educators’ concerns about limited training.
A shared plan does not require home and school to behave identically. Use the same skill and cue, but adapt the routine to each setting, the child’s communication and the demands of the moment.
Pick one skill
Choose a skill that you can see or hear during one recurring situation. Avoid broad goals such as “be calm,” “show resilience” or “behave well.” These descriptions do not tell the child or adult what action to take.
For example, use the recurring transition from a preferred activity to the next expected task. The observable skill could be: After hearing the cue, the child chooses an acceptable first step and begins it.
- At school: The transition might be from drawing to putting materials away.
- At home: It might be from a game to preparing for a meal.
- What you observe: The child points to, says, signs or selects a first step, then attempts it.
- What you do not require: Eye contact, spoken language, a cheerful expression or immediate compliance.
Ask the child what makes that situation easier or harder. Their answer might identify an effective choice, a disliked phrase, an inaccessible task or a need for more warning.
Limitation: A transition skill will not solve every difficulty with the activity itself. If the child cannot begin, check the task, instructions, sensory load, fatigue and available support.
Fallback: Reduce the demand, clarify the first step or help the child regulate before trying again. If the chosen skill remains unsuitable, replace it rather than increasing prompts.
Share one phrase and one routine
Agree on one short cue and one matching routine that respect the child’s communication. Ask the child which words, symbols or gestures feel clear rather than controlling.
For the transition example, the phrase could be: “Pause, choose, start. Which first step works for you?” With a younger child or someone who benefits from fewer words, try: “First step: bag or coat?”
- Give the usual transition signal or warning.
- Use the shared phrase once.
- Offer two acceptable first steps, or let the child suggest another workable option.
- Allow a quiet pause for processing.
- Acknowledge the action specifically: “You chose your bag and started packing.”
At school, the choices could be putting away pencils or closing the book first. At home, they could be pausing the game or carrying a plate to the table first.
Limitation: Repeated words can become pressure, especially when a child is distressed or processing language slowly. Do not repeat the cue rapidly or turn it into a warning.
Fallback: Use a picture, written card, object cue or agreed gesture. If the child needs a break, pause the routine and return only when the next step is manageable.
Follow the two-week home-school plan
Use the following sequence across fourteen calendar days. Begin when home and school can exchange a short note. If a listed day is not a school day, move that school action to the next attendance day without adding extra home trials.
| Day | School action | Home action | Shared-note action |
|---|---|---|---|
| Day one | Ask the child about the target transition. Agree on two acceptable first steps. | Discuss the matching home transition and identify two acceptable first steps. | Record the situation, skill, cue and the child’s preferred communication. |
| Day two | Model the cue and routine during a low-pressure moment. | Model the routine without requiring the child to perform it. | Note whether the words, pictures or gestures appeared clear. |
| Day three | Offer one supported practice during the target transition. | Offer one supported practice in the matching home situation. | Record the choice offered and the child’s observable response. |
| Day four | Use the cue once and reduce extra explanation. | Use the same cue once, allowing quiet processing time. | Describe the response as easy, mixed or hard. Add the child’s words if offered. |
| Day five | Ask privately what helped and what should change. | Ask at a calm time rather than immediately after difficulty. | Record one helpful factor and one possible barrier. |
| Day six | If the child attends, continue with one ordinary opportunity. Otherwise, take no school action. | Use a natural opportunity only. Do not create a conflict for practice. | Record “no opportunity” when appropriate. This is more useful than guessing. |
| Day seven | Review the existing notes without adding a new demand. | Offer optional role-play with a toy, drawing or visual sequence. | Confirm the child’s preferred cue and first-step choices. |
| Day eight | Use the revised routine based on the first week’s feedback. | Match the same change at home when it fits the situation. | Name the one part changed, such as the wording, choice or visual. |
| Day nine | Give the cue and leave enough space for the child to respond. | Avoid adding questions while the child is choosing. | Record whether the child started, requested help, declined or needed another option. |
| Day ten | Invite the child to propose an acceptable first step. | Accept a different first step when it still meets the immediate need. | Record the option the child created. |
| Day eleven | If the child agrees, use the routine with another familiar adult. | A second caregiver can try it if this will not add stress. | Note whether changing the adult affected the response. |
| Day twelve | Change one barrier, such as task size, warning or available choice. | Make the corresponding change where it is relevant at home. | Record only that adjustment and what happened next. |
| Day thirteen | Offer the least adult support that remains clear and respectful. | Allow the child to use the cue, choice card or routine independently. | Record what support was still useful. Do not score personality or attitude. |
| Day fourteen | Review the skill with the child and ask whether to continue, change or stop. | Complete the same check-in and share the child’s view. | Agree on the decision, one next action and who will communicate it. |
Keep each note brief and factual. Use an approved communication channel, and avoid recording private family or school information that the other setting does not need.
Practice, check in, adjust
Review what happened with the child, then adjust only one part of the plan. Changing the cue, situation, choices and adult response together makes it difficult to identify what helped.
- Did the child recognize the cue?
- Could the child access and understand the choices?
- Was the first step realistic in that moment?
- Did the routine lower or increase pressure?
- What did the child communicate before, during or after it?
- Did one setting need an adaptation that the other did not?
Possible adjustments include shortening the phrase, adding a visual, giving an earlier warning, changing the first-step choices or reducing the task. Keep the observable skill unchanged while you test that single adjustment.
Use neutral descriptions in shared notes. Write “covered ears, moved away and selected the break card” rather than “refused to cooperate.” Include the child’s own words without interpreting their motives.
Stop the routine if it repeatedly increases distress or if the recurring situation involves bullying, trauma, significant emotional difficulty or safety. Use the family’s and school’s established support procedures, and seek appropriate local professional help when needed.
Social emotional learning examples for families
Choose one of these examples rather than introducing several goals at once. Adapt the language and response method so the child can participate through speech, signing, pointing, writing, symbols or assistive communication.
| Recurring situation | Observable skill | Shared cue or routine | Home and school use |
|---|---|---|---|
| Requesting help | The child uses an agreed method to request help, a hint or a break. | “Help, hint or break?” | Use during home learning, chores, independent schoolwork or unfamiliar tasks. |
| Waiting for a turn | The child asks for the next turn and chooses an activity while waiting. | “Ask, choose, check.” | Use with family games, shared equipment or small-group activities. |
| Joining an activity | The child watches, asks to join or shows an agreed joining card. | “Watch, ask, join.” | Use during family activities, play, clubs or group tasks. |
| Repairing a small conflict | The child identifies one next action, such as returning an item or trying different words. | “Pause, check, repair.” | Use after manageable disagreements with siblings, friends or classmates. |
| Communicating readiness | The child selects a word, symbol or gesture for ready, unsure or needing help. | “Show me what you need.” | Use before leaving home, entering school or beginning a demanding activity. |
| Moving to the next task | The child chooses and attempts the first step of the transition. | “Pause, choose, start.” | Use when ending play, tidying materials, preparing for a meal or changing lessons. |
Do not use these routines to require eye contact, physical affection, sharing valued belongings or making an apology the child does not understand. When there is unsafe behavior or a power imbalance, adults must handle safety rather than expecting the child to solve it alone.
Copy-ready family-school SEL template
Copy this family-school SEL plan and shared-note template into a document or approved message. If you searched for a social emotional learning families schools PDF, use your device’s print or save-as-PDF option after copying it. No separate download is required.
Family-school SEL plan
- Plan period: ____________________
- Child’s preferred name: ____________________
- Recurring situation: ____________________
- Observable SEL skill: The child will ____________________
- Child’s view of the situation: ____________________
- Shared phrase, symbol or gesture: ____________________
- Acceptable first choice: ____________________
- Acceptable second choice: ____________________
- Another option the child may suggest: ____________________
- Communication methods to accept: ____________________
- Home practice situation: ____________________
- School practice situation: ____________________
- Signs that adults should pause: ____________________
- Fallback support: ____________________
Copy-ready shared-note entry
Use the same brief entry at home and school after an ordinary opportunity; share only what the other setting needs to adjust the routine. The completed example below shows the level of detail to use.
- Date and setting: ____________________
- Recurring situation: ____________________
- What happened before the cue: ____________________
- Cue, communication method and choices used: ____________________
- Observable response: ____________________
- What the child communicated or selected: ____________________
- Support that appeared useful: ____________________
- One part to keep, change or pause: ____________________
Review decision
- Continue the plan unchanged: yes / no
- Change one part: ____________________
- Pause or stop: ____________________
- Child’s preference: ____________________
- Person responsible for sharing the decision: ____________________
A completed note might say: “During the transition from drawing, the adult showed the choice card once. The child chose to close the pencil case first and asked for help with the folder. Keep the visual and reduce spoken instructions.”
Related guidance for families and educators
Choose further guidance according to the child’s immediate need and the setting where support is required. These resources extend the shared plan without replacing the child’s own feedback.
- Use the education at home and school guide when you need broader ways to coordinate learning and communication.
- For younger children, adapt routines from these everyday preschool SEL activities.
- Consult the children’s emotional wellness guide when the child needs support beyond one everyday skill.
- Build the practice into existing family bonds and routines rather than creating a separate home lesson.
- Choose another observable goal from these social skills activities for children after reviewing the current plan.
- Educators can use simple observation ideas from these formative assessment strategies while keeping shared SEL notes descriptive and child-respecting.
Keep the plan focused: one recurring situation, one observable skill, one shared cue and one small routine. Brief notes from home, school and the child will help you decide whether to continue, change one part or stop.
Judge the routine by whether it gives the child a respectful, usable way to respond. If it increases distress or overlooks an unmet need, pause and choose a different form of support.
When to seek more help: If a child's distress is persistent or severe, or includes aggression, withdrawal, school refusal, or difficulty with daily functioning, seek support from a qualified health or mental-health professional. For an immediate safety concern, contact local emergency or crisis services urgently.
